Photo by: cygnus921

I was running out of room in my toolbox and needed to get a bigger one. So, I bought a new toolbox this weekend.

This cross pollinated with the ideas I have been learning about fixed and growth mindsets in the book Mindset by Carol Dweck Ph.D.

There are people that go through life thinking that they can only have one toolbox. Ever. And that the tools that came in that toolbox are the only tools they will ever have. They polish and shine that toolbox and its tools. Showing it off to everyone they can.

For these people the toolbox is a metaphor for who they are. The tools are their talents and strengths. Getting approval for those talents and strengths is the most important thing in the world. If you don’t give them approval and praise that means they are deficient. To make themselves feel better they may decide you’re too deficient to understand them. These are people for which failure really is not an option. Failure means they are not good enough and they have no way of changing that.

I make these people sound pathetic. I’m using extreme examples, there are various degrees this can occur.  I know, this is the toolbox I’ve been carrying all my life.

Then there are others where the toolbox is a metaphor for their goals. The tools are what they need to accomplish that goal. And if the tools they have aren’t sufficient to accomplish that goal they go get more tools and they learn how to use them properly.

Failure means something else entirely to these people. Failure is not an ending, it just means they need to learn a new strategy to get where they want to go.

In the past, I only saw the surface meaning of Edison’s quote about his “failed” light bulbs:

Maybe that is all he meant, but I think there is a deeper meaning: Don’t judge the failures or yourself because of them.

If you’re like me and have lived with only one toolbox and only one set of tools your whole life, this is not an idea that is easy to accept. Egos are massive things, and they have a great deal of inertia. Making this kind of mind switch is not an overnight endeavor. It is a life long effort.

And if you’re coming at this in the middle part of your life or later, like I am, this is even more daunting. You’re probably thinking that you don’t have time to learn new stuff and enjoy it. If you are, then you are still thinking about success and failure as the end product. You see it as “When I achieve this, I will be a success.”

This isn’t true. You may have completed your task or goal, or you may have failed to complete it. That doesn’t make you a success or failure. You are still just you. And if you failed to complete it, like Edison, you now know one way it doesn’t work. Now go figure out how to make it work.

In case the title to this post wasn’t clear: This is a practice blog.

This is my first time blogging. I don’t have a niche. I’m going to write shit you don’t care about. And I’m probably going to fuck it up royally. But that’s how you learn. That’s how you grow.

I welcome comments and constructive critiques on the content of the site, just don’t expect me to implement them.

Also, as I am rather familiar with the blogosphere, let me give you one additional warning: My blog is not a democracy. At best, it is a benevolent dictatorship. If you comment, play nice with each other. To a certain degree I will put up with more abuse than I’ll allow commentors to heap on each other. And if I find a comment offensive I will delete it.

Who I am.

(Yes, this will end up as part of an About Me page sometime.)

I’m Kevin E. Blake. I’m in my mid-forties. While my life may not be as I would have planned it, it has been a very interesting journey. And I feel blessed for that.

I have 15 years experience helping businesses find or create technological solutions for their business problems. Thanks to the Great Recession I’ve been off work for 6 months (Okay, so my wife sees this as being unemployed, but it’s all about perspective, right?).

I’m a maverick that questions everything (FYI, when I was 11 or 12 our Baptist church asked my mother to stop bringing me to Sunday school as I asked too many questions). I treat pop culture like the plague. I hate sports. I love studying and thinking about human nature. I love to read (I’m currently reading 7 different books). I love thinking about spirituality, but I haven’t found an existing faith I couldn’t poke holes in big enough to sail an ark through. I will occasionally jump on a bandwagon for something that sounds fabulous, but within a fairly short amount of time I will have gotten what I needed from it and start poking those holes.  Oh, and I have what I consider a wicked sense of sarcastic humor that generally makes my wife groan in actual pain.

So in short, I’m a troublemaker whose eyes will glaze over if you mention sports or pop culture and I would prefer you ask me about my thoughts on the nature of the universe than ask me what I did this weekend.

And, I’ve always wanted to write.

And, I’ve always let my fears hold me back. That stops today.

Why Now and Why a Dress Rehearsal?

For the poor people that know me I’ve talked about starting a blog for a looong time. They have had to listen to one idea after another. Some of them even good ideas. But my fear always stopped me.

Then a few days ago I started one of those seven books I mentioned early, called Mindset. Mindset is by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

I’m only in the beginning of the book, but essentially her work has shown that there are two basic mindsets: the growth mindset and the fixed mindset.

Traits of growth mindset people are that they:

• Overcome problems through persistence and effort.
• Are passionate about stretching themselves and sticking to it, especially if it’s not going well.
• Attack problem areas directly.
• Don’t expect to be perfect.
• Don’t feel they should immediately have expert ability when taking on something new.
• Can let go of proving their ability and learn.
• See intelligence as something they can work to improve.
• Thrive on challenge.

Traits for fixed mindset people are that they:

• Need to prove they’re smart.
• Need to NOT make mistakes.
• Think that making mistakes makes you dumb.
• Are afraid of not being smart.
• Think effort is a bad thing.
• Are super-sensitive about being wrong or making a mistake.
• Expect ability to show up without effort.
• Expect to do be perfect and fast at anything they do.

If you had asked me a few days ago which category I fell into I would have thought I had a growth mindset. I really do love learning new things. But they have mostly been ideas and concepts. When it came to learning things that required I put effort into them or that felt like I didn’t have a natural talent for them I tended to walk away.  And the more important to me they were the more likely I was to feel like I should have a natural talent and fear not being perfect the first time out. Being a good writer has always been extremely important to me.

Mindset let me see that there was another way to be.

Which leads me to the dress rehearsal.

I could stay behind the curtain and work on my writing in private. And to some degree I will do that.

But, if I want to tackle my fears head on, I need to put myself out there. I need to, at least, have a potential audience. I need to feel accountable for getting the work done. I need space that forces me to write beyond my current comfort zone.

Also, besides improving my writing and helping me figure out if I have a niche I want to blog in, I’m hoping to find a community of like-minded troublemakers that want to share deep thoughts and have challenging discussions.

Well, if you’re reading this and still awake, I appreciate you being here.

Whether you’re family, friend, acquaintance, or complete stranger, I bid you welcome to this raucous ride.